Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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