I need help removing her.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize