i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize