yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize