Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
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