feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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