Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize