I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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