well you can't waste a boner
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize