Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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