I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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