Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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