Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize