I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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