I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
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I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
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I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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