you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
nutella sex= disaster
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
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Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
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don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize