I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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