So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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