North Korea, Best Korea!
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
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