She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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