They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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