I like my sex mixed with concussions.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I have post one night stand depression
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i out mim tonsoeep
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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