Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize