they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize