Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize