Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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