picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
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And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.