Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New Jersey (609)

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  This ER has an aquarium in it!!!

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  (609): This ER has an aquarium in it!!! http://tfl.nu/uric
  Replies (11) Good night (1656) Bad night (347) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him

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  (609): His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him http://tfl.nu/rlb9
  Replies (6) Good night (1269) Bad night (316) Order T-Shirt
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  I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?

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  (509): I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood. (609): That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do? http://tfl.nu/arvc
  Replies (7) Good night (1527) Bad night (324)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?

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  (609): LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER? http://tfl.nu/1zq3
  Replies (7) Good night (985) Bad night (480) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive

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  (609): Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive http://tfl.nu/ad0s
  Replies (0) Good night (889) Bad night (445) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.

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  (609): Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka. http://tfl.nu/ktyc
  Replies (4) Good night (1063) Bad night (372) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.

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  (609): I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth. http://tfl.nu/cul4
  Replies (4) Good night (1012) Bad night (325) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July

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  (609): Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July http://tfl.nu/khgw
  Replies (1) Good night (758) Bad night (369)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  There are cops on horseback in our back yard

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  (609): There are cops on horseback in our back yard http://tfl.nu/25e3
  Replies (7) Good night (1314) Bad night (409) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.

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  (609): Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel. http://tfl.nu/9ny9
  Replies (9) Good night (1582) Bad night (357) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.

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  (609): I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE. http://tfl.nu/xv21
  Replies (3) Good night (918) Bad night (390) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.

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  (609): We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend. http://tfl.nu/121k
  Replies (7) Good night (971) Bad night (308) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.

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  (609): I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved. http://tfl.nu/m2zi
  Replies (5) Good night (612) Bad night (1282) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.

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  (609): The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit. http://tfl.nu/al9k
  Replies (6) Good night (367) Bad night (1117) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.

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  (609): Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel. http://tfl.nu/x8kg
  Replies (24) Good night (893) Bad night (330) Order T-Shirt