Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New York (845)

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  (845): View more from New York

  I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"

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  (845): I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen" http://tfl.nu/33mk
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  On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.

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  (845): On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though. http://tfl.nu/8a05
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  It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.

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  (845): It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother. http://tfl.nu/ow2i
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  just woke up under a car ? That's odd

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  Holy fucking shit

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  WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT

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  (845): just woke up under a car ? That's odd (603): Holy fucking shit (845): WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT http://tfl.nu/jvxr
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  I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30

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  (845): I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30 http://tfl.nu/ce0m
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  i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask

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  (845): i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask http://tfl.nu/5xm3
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  You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing

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  (845): You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing http://tfl.nu/q419
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  Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.

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  (845): Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent. http://tfl.nu/1ynv
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  From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.

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  (845): From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend. http://tfl.nu/h8l3
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  Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.

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  (845): Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/8wnm
  Replies (6) Good night (520) Bad night (947) Order T-Shirt
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  My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...

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  (845): My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's... http://tfl.nu/cszb
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  You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey

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  (845): You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey http://tfl.nu/3j62
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  Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?

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  (845): Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident? http://tfl.nu/4pg6
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  My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.

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  (845): My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine. http://tfl.nu/uhg6
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  Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins

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  (845): Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins http://tfl.nu/if6l
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