Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New York (845)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share. http://tfl.nu/wq4n
  Replies (8) Good night (2016) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender" http://tfl.nu/qf49
  Replies (3) Good night (1371) Bad night (398) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin http://tfl.nu/w07j
  Replies (21) Good night (553) Bad night (1694) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this. http://tfl.nu/x8z4
  Replies (15) Good night (2928) Bad night (450) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Make me a sandwich

  (301): View more from Maryland

  The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Make me a sandwich (301): The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich. http://tfl.nu/al2a
  Replies (26) Good night (5904) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears. http://tfl.nu/jlvi
  Replies (8) Good night (1566) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  "Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): "Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life. http://tfl.nu/f41e
  Replies (3) Good night (469) Bad night (948) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me. http://tfl.nu/ykh5
  Replies (8) Good night (419) Bad night (1552) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do? http://tfl.nu/0iqf
  Replies (5) Good night (635) Bad night (974) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup http://tfl.nu/4mdx
  Replies (6) Good night (955) Bad night (437) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm http://tfl.nu/66ib
  Replies (6) Good night (603) Bad night (1054) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted! http://tfl.nu/7ysb
  Replies (6) Good night (1689) Bad night (348) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte http://tfl.nu/yyhp
  Replies (3) Good night (1087) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch http://tfl.nu/iuw1
  Replies (20) Good night (2929) Bad night (758) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god http://tfl.nu/778n
  Replies (10) Good night (2562) Bad night (434) Order T-Shirt