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Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
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