Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Pennsylvania (610)

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  Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.

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  You might as well just give her the money now.

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  (814): Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it. (610): You might as well just give her the money now. http://tfl.nu/i76w
  Replies (72) Good night (3843) Bad night (1353)
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  Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.

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  (610): Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore. http://tfl.nu/f91d
  Replies (55) Good night (7131) Bad night (1106)
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  if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs

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  (610): if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs http://tfl.nu/tehh
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  walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant

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  he should get drunk with us

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  (610): walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant (1-610): he should get drunk with us http://tfl.nu/datt
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  yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  what does that even mean?

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  you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.

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  (610): yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night. (215): what does that even mean? (610): you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life. http://tfl.nu/owon
  Replies (36) Good night (5313) Bad night (544)
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  yo im tryna cop a beej tonight

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  (610): yo im tryna cop a beej tonight http://tfl.nu/fc5c
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  oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid

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  (610): oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid http://tfl.nu/g7bt
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  can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans

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  who is canola oil?

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  you're an idiot.

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  (610): can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans (1-610): who is canola oil? (610): you're an idiot. http://tfl.nu/vy3c
  Replies (64) Good night (2958) Bad night (731)
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  the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome

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  (610): the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome http://tfl.nu/8iag
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  you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning

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  how does that even happen??

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  (610): you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning (410): how does that even happen?? http://tfl.nu/16pg
  Replies (3) Good night (1758) Bad night (520)
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  Damn. That makes sense

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems

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  (610): Damn. That makes sense (1-610): I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems http://tfl.nu/ztoj
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  how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam

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  enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening

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  (610): how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam (212): enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening http://tfl.nu/wz05
  Replies (9) Good night (1939) Bad night (529)
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  What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?

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  Which ones?

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  (484): What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips? (610): Which ones? http://tfl.nu/2pkr
  Replies (20) Good night (2788) Bad night (494)
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  she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.

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  (610): she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break. http://tfl.nu/sziy
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  The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.

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  (610): The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem. http://tfl.nu/6hmf
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