Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
bring money and cleavage
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Follow @tfln