Texts From Last Night · MikeyPoolee's Favorites

MikeyPoolee's Favorites Texts:

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(228): View more from Mississippi

Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?

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(228): Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know? http://tfl.nu/qpy1

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka

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(701): I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka http://tfl.nu/1kth

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?

(770): View more from Georgia

Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.

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(910): Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator? (770): Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life. http://tfl.nu/b6oq

Replies (7) Good night (1867) Bad night (404)
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(907): View more from Alaska

Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.

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(907): Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman. http://tfl.nu/89v9

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(352): View more from Florida

I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...

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(352): I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection... http://tfl.nu/jbgn

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(310): View more from California

I'm so sick

(323): View more from California

I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.

(310): View more from California

That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..

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(310): I'm so sick (323): I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night. (310): That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy.. http://tfl.nu/0aa2

Replies (3) Good night (477) Bad night (1599)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.

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(720): I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer. http://tfl.nu/jm0p

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(812): View more from Indiana

They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"

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(812): They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage" http://tfl.nu/yp3v

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(630): View more from Illinois

I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?

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(630): I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So? http://tfl.nu/1vsx

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(330): View more from Ohio

OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.

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(330): OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM. http://tfl.nu/cuq6

Replies (15) Good night (2501) Bad night (348) Order T-Shirt
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(206): View more from Washington

I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2

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(206): I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2 http://tfl.nu/1blx

Replies (9) Good night (1155) Bad night (422)
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(949): View more from California

Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.

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(949): Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me. http://tfl.nu/lccl

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(828): View more from North Carolina

No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry

(828): View more from North Carolina

Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302

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(828): No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry (828): Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302 http://tfl.nu/twph

Replies (12) Good night (2688) Bad night (664)
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(607): View more from New York

You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick

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(607): You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick http://tfl.nu/kpxh

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(703): View more from Virginia

I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM

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(703): I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM http://tfl.nu/jp0v

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