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Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
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