Im at strip club and am horny
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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