I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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