put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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