Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize