Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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