We got so high we made milksteak
Girls should come with a carfax report
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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