i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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