Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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