Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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