Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize