If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
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It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
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also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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