Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
my sisters under your porch take her home
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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