just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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