I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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