it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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