I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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